“If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.”
This old proverb came to mind the other day and in the past few days was pounded into my head. The news is rampant with stories of all kinds as always. But what struck me more, was the words, comments and cutting remarks that were made. Many were about people that were unknown to the commenter. They, however, became the judge, jury and sentencer all in one.
I had painful words tossed at me in the last while. I realized, even as I told myself “They are not true.” the pain still went in like a knife. I thought about sunshine, roses, beaches and still it felt like pebbles were falling like rain. The shards of glass entered, despite my positive words. I turned the music up, but I could still hear them.
I heard them replaying as I filled my mind with the sweet words of hope.
Why do the painful words replay while the sweet ones take longer to sink in?
I am not sure how or why, but I do realize that I need to be more watchful of my words. If we followed this old proverb more, we may stop before we comment, post or speak to our loved one.
I plead with myself to work hard at this, while at the same time when those shards of glass come the next time, I pray that I can have figured out what shield protects me.
I will remind myself that I am not a failure, even though I may be told that.
I am going to work hard, even if I fail in small things.
I will accept how I look, and work to change what I can, without putting myself down.
I will love freely, without being afraid of the pain when it is rejected.
I honestly don’t know if there is a shield to protect. But I believe that if I work to conquer the fears that the words hold an echo of truth, I will build one.
In the mean time, I will work to see if I can prevent causing that kind of pain to others. If I accidentally cause pain, I hope that I am forgiven. This, even as I forgive those that have caused the pain that I am healing from in my own heart.
There is hope. There is healing from the painful words.