It is inevitable that when you are grieving that someone will point out that you are not doing it correctly.
I was struck with amazement at how once again, when attacks happened in Paris, a city where no one thinks of terror striking, when others expressed support, sadness or grief on social media, the comments flooded in on why they were doing it the wrong way.
Grief is very personal. One mother may grieve for her child by staying busy, focused on tasks at hand, while another sits listlessly in a chair sobbing. Another may seek to find the good in it, while another points out the horrible injustices in the world.
In the case of large scale deaths, often people seek comparison. “You do not have the right to be sad over the mere hundred people that died here because thousands died over here.”
The issue is grief is our own. One person may grieve in one way as a believer in God and as a Christian. Another may respond differently as someone that does not believe God exists. The critiques coming in from all groups of people have not helped anyone.
I understand the fear. Their is a fear that while bravado tries to cover it up, but when someone is murdered, killed or taken from us, we suddenly feel vulnerable. This causes us to respond with bravado, judgement, or fear based reactions.
I would ask, how does this help a grieving family? Does our boasting bring peace to the world?
“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” Romans 12:15, KJV.
Instead of judging others for not grieving the people they should be grieving, or doing it the way we think they should, let’s instead see how every life is precious. Let us seek to heap coals of fire instead of using bullets.
“Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.” Romans 12:20, KJV.
Let us weep, mourn and wail with those that have been lost around the world and instead of biting and devouring one another with our words, use those words to comfort and stand together. We will all die someday. It is better to die in peace than in anger.